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Day 20

Hate that I'm falling off the journaling wagon. Hate waiting on schools to make up their fucking minds. Hate being stuck in this holding pattern. Hate waiting on stupid OOIL to make up his fucking mind. Really, really hate being thiiis close to what I want and not knowing if I'm going to be able to have it. I can't help but feel a little bit resentful.

In other news, St. Patrick's Day! I worked at the library today, and a regular patron made us a loaf of Irish Soda Bread with raisins and put it through the Drive-Up drawer, along with a stick of butter. It was awesome and delicious and a wonderful surprise. Then I went out with Bestest and our friend Laura to dinner and had delicious corned beef and beer. It was a great day, a great evening, and then a shitty night when I talked to OOIL. Won't know about him and his GF until after he gets back from Greece? That is a month away. If he's going to be cuddling with another girl (me) and talking about how much he likes her (and calling her hot), he needs to break up with his GF. This evaluation period is ridiculous. And I am being ridiculous and stupid for allowing myself to get this worked up about it and attached. I've put a stop to the cuddles - it was the right thing to do - but it sucks because I WANT it. I want all of it. And now I've had a little taste, and I feel addicted now. I'm attached. Dammit.

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